Saturday, January 3, 2009


Hello brave readers.

We haven't had a mom update in a while, because we've been trying to figure some things out. Right now, the situation is this: We don't think we can save mom's house from foreclosure. First of all, the amount past due is overwhelming. None of us sisters have very much money, although we've all been trying really hard to come up with some money making schemes! The mortgage is all messed up. Secondly, with mom's husband out of work and having very little prospects, he's gotten himself really deep into debt. I think he's planning on filing for bankruptcy, in fact. Whatever. We're all trying to distance ourselves from the husband, since he's bad news.

Plus, we go back to the original issue which is that mom needs more care than she's getting. Husband isn't willing to help her, even though he lives with her and is her HUSBAND after all. You all know about us sisters: one lives in NY. We all live quite a distance away, too far away to really show up at the drop of a hat to help when she needs help. But we do try to do our best to take care of her. It's just that it's more than we can handle.

The second idea is to bring mom to live withone of us. We've had to strikeout this idea as well, for various reasons. One, again, is the level of care. We all work full time, and so she'd need care during the day. Even if COPES paid for care during the day, the daughter that she lives with would be giving her care from the time she arrives home from work until the time she leaves for work in the morning. This can be quite exhausting, so we thought we'd have to hire extra care for a few hours a night at least, to keep the daughter from totally burning out. Mom wouldn't be able to live with Katie, who lives in NY, so it would be with me or Kellie. Kellie has a studio apartment--no room for mom, and I have a TINY one bedroom--again, no room for another roommate. So we'd have to move to a larger apartment. The cost of extra care, extra rent, extra food, and all of that is just so far beyond us daughters, that we had to abandon that idea.

So, our new plan is that mom is going to have to live in an adult family home, or a nursing home.

We're all against a nursing home, mom most of all. After her surgeries, she was in nursing homes that were hellholes were horrible, including one that was shut down for neglecting clients after her stay there. We'd prefer an adult family home, where we feel she'd get better one on one care, and she'd be surrounded by a nicer atmosphere that would help her mentally too. I have some hope that if she's in a supportive environment, she might get better and need LESS care.

The problem, of course, is still money.

After spending tons of time researching (and I'm still researching!) I haven't been able to find a single adult family home that has a price tag that mom's COPES award will cover. COPES covers about half of the care cost of an adult family home in Seattle, apparently. It's horrible, really, because COPES will cover ALL of a nursing home's price, even if the nursing home costs more than twice the daily amount of the award she'd get for an adult family home. What's the deal with that? Believe me, when I found this out, I decided I was going to start to write to whoever I can to ask them to change this.

Adult family homes are much cheaper overall, averaging around $150/day, compared to nursing homes which are around $220/day. COPES could pay for all of the costs of an adult family home over a nursing home and save $70/day.

Hello, I say....

Anyway, as a result, we're still trying to help mom.

We'd like to invite you, who spent time reading my small update and rant, to visit our etsy shops. Whatever we make is going to be going into the Mom fund:

Katie's etsy shop, home of the world famous Java Jacket and soon demented hats!
Kerrie's etsy shop, the sweet side, featuring sweetness and wearable art

Kellie doesn't have an etsy shop yet, but she may be available in the Seattle area for Nail Art Parties very soon!

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